


The Rate of Change

by sglottalk



Series: A Very Long Life [2]
Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Beta Colony, Future Fic, Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2018-11-23 02:39:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11393649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sglottalk/pseuds/sglottalk
Summary: After spending a hundred and twelve years on Earth and becoming a professional historian, Count Vorhalas visits Beta Colony again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I reckon this story takes place about a hundred and fifty years after ["In My Blood and Nowhere Else"]() (which I highly recommend reading before reading this fic).

As Count Vorhalas waited in the shuttleport in Silica, Beta Colony's capital city, he finally understood why his surroundings left him with such an eerie feeling. Even though it had been a hundred and twelve years since his last visit to Beta Colony, it seemed that it had hardly changed. Even the sarongs which people wore looked practically the same as before.

Count Vorhalas had been living on Earth during all of this time, and the human condition on Earth had changed substantially in the past century. Now, he felt like he had taken a step back into the past.

He caught sight of Dr. Alana Nova Quick, which showed that time had not been completely still. Count Vorhalas had met Dr. Quick during his first visit to Beta Colony long ago when he had agreed to participate in a study on people who had used the Durona life extension treatment for at least five decades. At the time Ms. Quick had just been a university student assisting the researchers. Though she was in her late twenties, she had looked just like a teenager to Vorhalas' eye at that time. Now she looked like she was on the young side of middle-age.

In spite of their differences in culture, age, and social position, they had established a rapport, or rather, she was the only Betan who Count Vorhalas felt he could talk to about something that was not strictly professional. They had maintained sporadic correspondence over the past century. Though they had never been close, they were at least familiar to each other.

"Long time no see!" she called out. She almost reached out to hug him, but when she saw the awkwardness of his stance, she pulled back.

Silica University had kindly offered to host Vorhalas during his stay on Beta Colony. Dr. Quick led him to the ride which would take them to the university's guest housing.

"My dear, if I recall correctly, you are now a senior researcher?"

"Yes, I was promoted ten years ago."

"Only ten years ago? That recent? I could have swore it was longer ago than that! You must have been qualified long ago."

"I had to wait for enough people to retire, and start new careers."

"Ah, yes. I forgot that you Betans have very reliable access to the life extension treatment. And I suppose people in your field have especially good access."

Dr. Quick's eyebrows creased with worry. "I know what is happening on Earth is terrible. Is it so bad that people cannot get life extension treatments?"

"Oh yes. With all of the disruptions, only the most privileged can reasonably expect to get life extension treatments on time."

"That's horrible!"

Vorhalas sighed. "It's getting worse every year. Even though I was relatively privileged on Earth, I have had some close calls. That's one of the reasons I'm returning to Barrayar."

"Yes, Barrayar is much safer than Earth these days. I'm surprised you stayed on Earth as long as you did."

"I wanted to finish my book. It took my forty-six years for me to complete my history of Russia, and I wanted to finish it while I was still in Russian territory. I believe I sent you a copy."

"You did. I'm sorry, I haven't even opened it."

"That's not a problem, my dear. It's a thoroughly mediocre book. If you want a truly brilliant history of Russia, you would be much better off reading Dmitri Kolstoi's work."

"You must have been very dedicated to stay in Russia just to finish your book."

"Russia is more stable than Western Europe. Especially Chelyabinsk, where I spent the past twenty years. Really, living in Russia today is no worse than living on Barrayar during my youth."

"Yet you think the situation will become even worse?"

"Yes." Vorhalas shook his head. "When I obtained my Ph.D. in history at Oxford, I never imagined that London would be destroyed by nukes just twenty years later."

Dr. Quick changed the subject. "I suppose you want to see what Barrayar is like these days. I mean, you have had a longer life than any other human being in history. You're a living legend. Surely you could have your pick of planets to live on. You are one of the few people who could almost certainly obtain a Betan immigration visa."

Vorhalas smiled just a little. "I do not intend to insult your society, but I could never live here. I need to remain connected to my ancestors, and I feel this is much easier when I live where they lived. That leaves me only Barrayar and Earth."

Dr. Quick raised an eyebrow. "What about the first generation of colonists on Barrayar. They lived there, even though their ancestors weren't from Barrayar."

"That was different."

They spent a moment without conversation. Vorhalas looked out the window of their vehicle, gazing at how little the architecture of Silica had changed. Dr. Quick started talking again. "We greatly appreciate that you will let us do a medical evaluation while you are here and use the data for research purposes, but is that the only reason you came here to Beta Colony?"

"No. But I'm not sure how I can explain my other reasons. I suppose part of it is that I do have some curiosity about your society. Now that I am a trained historian, I wondered if I could see something here which I never saw before."

"Is there any activity you have in mind?"

"No."

"If you wish to learn about Betan history, I'm sure the university could arrange meetings with our finest historians."

"Yes, I would like that. It's not quite what I seek - never mind, dear. I would be honored to meet with the historians at the university."


	2. Chapter 2

Though Count Vorhalas was now a professional historian, he had only the barest notion of Betan history. This became painfully obvious as he ate dinner with the chair of the History department at Silica university and several professors who specialized in Betan history. He felt almost embarrassed, trying to talk to experts of such high caliber when most of the eight-year-olds on the planet knew more about Betan history than he did. Nonetheless, they were all very gracious in dealing with his ignorance.

Naturally, the university's top specialist in Barrayaran history was there too. She was so excited to meet _Count Vorhalas_ , who had personally known and worked with _Xav Vorbarra_ , _Yuri Vorbarra_ , _Ezar Vorbarra_ , _Aral Vorkosigan_ , and _Gregor Vorbarra_ that she could hardly contain herself. Though Vorhalas had stopped doing interviews as a primary source of Barrayaran history long ago, he made an exception this time since the professors were treating him so well. He cautioned her than his memory was fallible, and that the recorded interviews he had done two hundred years earlier with Professora Vorthys were more historically accurate than anything he would say now, but she had already listened to those interviews multiple times and was more interested in basking in his presence than in uncovering historical facts.

"So you are saying that, during the first half-century of human settlement on Beta Colony, there was practically no contact with Earth?"

"There was a little contact," the history department chair said. "But considering the practicalities of the generation ships and the speed of light, it would take years to relay even the simplest of messages, let alone transport a person. There was no regular contact between Beta Colony and Earth before wormhole transport."

"In effect, Beta Colony began with a _Time of Isolation_."

"Oh yes," said the Barrayaran history professor. "One of the most common essay prompts for students in Barrayaran history courses is 'compare and contrast Barrayar's Time of Isolation to the pre-wormhole era.'"

"That sounds like an interesting prompt," Vorhalas said. "What are the students' most common responses."

"Limited - or no contact - allowed both early Betan and Barrayaran culture to develop with relatively little outside influence, and amplified the effect that the harsh environments of both planets had on the nascent cultures. However, the differences are that the lack of contact was expected and planned for by the Betan pioneers, and they had far more complex technology, yet they had to survive in an environment which was extremely unforgiving to human life. The Barrayaran pioneers had not anticipated the loss of contact, were in a much more human-friendly environment, yet could only use much simpler technology to adapt."

"That sounds like a reasonable analysis," Vorhalas said. "I confess that when I lived on Barrayar I had a very stereotyped view of Betan society. Beta Colony was the face of galactic society, and thus the threat of assimilation into the galactic milieu."

"Not Cetaganda?" asked one of the professors.

"Cetagandan tried to conquer us by force, which created a very different kind of relationship. We thought of them as _Cetaganda_ , distinct from all other galactics." Vorhalas coughed. "As I was saying, I only thought of Beta Colony from a very particular point of view. Even though I knew that Beta Colony must have its own history, I am not used to think of Beta Colony as a society which evolves, just as much as Barrayar evolves.

"Historically, Betans have also had a very distorted view of Barrayar, though that has not been true so much in the past century," the professor of Barrayaran history commented. She seemed pleased that Betan attitudes towards Barrayar had changed.

"I don't plan to stay here long enough to take a course on Betan history, but I think I would like to read more about it."

Vorhalas knew that saying something like that was asking to be drowned in book recommendations. His companions did not disappoint him; their eyes lit up as they rushed to suggest titles.

"Thank you, but as you know, I don't have an eidetic memory chip in my head. Could you leave a message with me at your convenience?"

They all nodded in agreement.

"Are there any particular sites you would suggest I visit while I am still on the planet to better understand your history?"

"There's the site of the first landing, though frankly it's turned into a tourist trap."

"Be sure to visit old quarter, there are still many buildings which date from before the construction of the community force shield."

"You could visit an Amish village."

"Oh come on, even though the Amish claim to live authentically just like the pioneers, it's really just their own distorted vision."

"Yes, I know that the Amish don't really live like the pioneers, but a visit to one of their villages could still offer some insight into environmental history."

"Excuse me," Vorhalas said. "Are these 'Amish' related to the group of that name which once inhabited North America?"

"Only indirectly," a professor explained. "They're a bunch of lunatics who want to turn back the clock and live like the pioneers from the first century of Beta Colony's existence. They actually call themselves the 'New Pioneers' but since, like the historical Amish of North America, they are reluctant to adapt new technologies, most Betans call them 'Amish'."

"And why do they do that?"

"They claim that our society has become too materialistic and decadent, and polluted with foreign ideas. They want to return to the 'pure' spirit of the pioneers. The craziest ones even want to abandon use of the wormholes, and only have contact with other planets by means which were available before wormhole technology."

"In other words, they are a Return-to-the-Time-of-Isolation faction?" Vorhalas asked.

"Pshaw, calling them a faction is giving them too much credit. They're a cult. They prey on the emotionally vulnerable and brainwash their children. They only get away with it because they live in the red flag zone, which puts them out of reach of the Mental Health Board."

"Oh? Why can't the Mental Health Board reach them?"

"The Red Flag zone has such a harsh environment that it's only possible to sustain limited infrastructure there. It would take far too many resources for the Mental Health Board to operate there."

"Yet these Amish can survive there?"

"They think it's perfect because it's similar to the environment of the polar regions prior to terraforming."

"Pardon?"

"When the first humans arrived on Beta Colony, the planet was so hot and dry that the only areas where human life was possible at all was at the polar regions. Terraforming projects cooled the planet, which extended the potentially inhabitable area, and made the polar regions, including where we are now, much more inhabitable. The planet is divided into various zones, with the red flag zone denoting the most extreme environment in which it is at all feasible to keep humans long term. When humans first arrived here, the polar regions were red flag zones, so in that sense the Amish are being historically accurate by settling there."

"But since humans can live long term in space stations, could you not construct human habitats anywhere on the planet?" Vorhalas asked.

"Technically, it may be possible to put a permanent human settlement in the black flag zone. However, it would be much cheaper to build a space station and settle people there than to settle them in the black flag zone."

"Interesting. I think I want to meet these Amish."

"You have no idea what it's like. They villages are uncomfortable beyond belief. And you won't learn much about Betan history. Their ideology is very different from the ideology of the real pioneers."

"Even if I do not learn about Betan history, I still want to meet them. They sound like some of my allies from my former career in politics."

"I don't think you understand that the Amish are completely insane."

"It's fine if they are. The Isolationist faction in Barrayaran politics were constantly accused of being 'insane' by the Progressives, and even some Conservatives. Yet I have always had a fondness of them. Though I never agreed with their goal of closing off Barrayar's wormhole, I shared their passion for preserving Barrayar's heritage. Furthermore, I found their perspective to be, at times, a useful lens to view the world, a lens which sometimes yielded insights which were not apparent to Progressives or even non-Isolationist Conservatives."

The Barrayaran history specialist raised her eyebrow. "I thought you only worked with the isolationist factions because you needed them for your Conservative coalition."

"That too," Vorhalas said. "But I feel that, in their own way, they did Barrayar good. They were one of the counterweights which helped prevent the Progressives from opening the floodgates to galactic cultures which would have swept our culture away forever."

"You really think that Aral Vorkosigan had wished to sweep away Barrayaran culture completely?" the Barrayaran history specialist asked.

"I am not sure," Vorhalas said. "Probably not completely, but he may have gone much too far if we Conservatives had not held him in check. I sometimes suspected he wished to make Barrayar much more like Beta Colony than he let on. I do not mean to imply that your society is bad, merely that Barrayar needs to preserve its own heritage. I also would not wish for Beta Colony to lose its heritage by assimilating into Barrayar."

The Barrayaran history professor started frantically moving her fingers in the air.

"Excuse me, what is the meaning of your gesture?" Vorhalas asked.

"Oh, I'm just writing some notes."

"Notes?"

"The university has a virtual notepad system," another professor explained. "Whenever a faculty member or student writes in the air, it is recorded so they can retrieve their notes whenever they want."

"I see. I take it that you do no have eidetic memory chips either? Surely you could get them."

"We could, all Betans can. It is a very personal decision. Some of our faculty, particularly in the school of science, do have the memory chips, but most of the people who chose to focus on the humanities prefer not to have them. Since you yourself do not have the chip, perhaps you understand?"

"I knew Simon Illyan. I don't want to turn into Simon Illyan. That is reason enough for me." Vorhalas drew a breath. "However, most politically influential people on Barrayar these days have eidetic memory chips. I'm one of the few Counts who do not, though my deputy, who has been Count Vorhalas in all but title for almost two hundred years, has the chip."

The Barrayaran history specialist finished recording her notes. "Thank you," she said. "I think I now better understand why you opposed the invasion of Komarr."

The other history professors looked surprised. "You were against the invasion of Komarr?"

"Yes," Vorhalas said. "I believed it would be bad for Barrayar. And this is an example of why I respected Barrayar's isolationist faction. Though I opposed it, most of the Conservatives enthusiastically supported invading Komarr, even Piotr Vorkosigan. The isolationists were the only faction who staunchly opposed it. They pointed out - correctly, in my opinion - that maintaining superior wormhole blockade technology was a better way to protect Barrayar from future invasion than being obligated to defend all of Komarr's wormholes, not to mention the risk of Kommarrans betraying us from the inside. They pointed out that, if the conquest succeeded, then the ministers, especially the Ministry of Political Education, would gain power at the expense of the Counts. That happened exactly as they predicted. 

"But it was more than that - there were principles. The isolationists pointed out that ruling Komarr would require entangling ourselves so deeply with galactics that it would put the preservation of our heritage in great peril. I think some people advocated the conquest of Komarr precisely because they hoped it would corrupt our culture. But worst of all, we had no right to conquer them. The legitimate emperor has the right to impose his will on Barrayarans because our ancestors swore fealty to the first emperor. He sometimes has to use force, even start wars, because Barrayarans sometimes disregard their vows. But the Komarrans had never sworn fealty to the emperor, therefore he had no right to conquer them. At most, we had a right to pillage them or compel reparations as payback for their complicity with the Cetagandan invasion, but not to rule them.

"When the isolationists and I made these arguments against the conquest of Komarr, we were called 'lunatics' by practically everybody else who matters in Barrayaran politics. My own brother Rulf called me 'crazy' for arguing against the conquest. Most of the isolationists were spared punishment only because they were not taken seriously. I was taken seriously, and if I had not been a Count the Ministry of Political Education would have put me in jail.

"It is true that Barrayar became wealthier than it would have been otherwise, but wealth is not what is most important. Our culture became less stable, and Komarran traitors did become a threat, and most importantly, our principles were compromised. I still believe Barrayar would have been better off if we had never conquered Komarr.

"I do disagree with the position the isolationists took after the conquest of Komarr happened and the occupation began. Once Barrayaran rule on Komarr became a fact, I felt that much of the damage was already done, and that it was better to support the occupation than to end it. However, the isolationists demanded withdrawal because they knew isolation would not be possible while we still held Komarr. Isolation was not my goal, but if it had been, I also would have demanded withdrawal."

The Barrayaran history specialist was taking notes in the air again. Vorhalas had said all of this many times before in recorded interviews, but perhaps he had never framed it in this way before. Or maybe she just wished to record that she had personally heard Vorhalas say all this with his own breath.

"I understand that your society is different from our society, and that your Amish must be different our isolationists in many ways. However, I do not want to conclude that they are 'crazy' before I have met them. And after heard what you said about them, I very much wish to meet them."

The Betans looked at each other. Finally, the history chair said "Well, if you really want to visit the Amish, we can arrange that."


	3. Chapter 3

The university had arranged for him to spend three days at Tobermor, an Amish settlement.

First, he would have to reach the town of Rhyolite in the yellow flag zone. Though the university offered to arrange private transport to Rhyolite, Vorhalas said he would rather travel by public convoy. Since he was on this planet, he might as well spend his time observing everyday Betans.

The public convoy to Rhyolite departed Silica daily, and the trip took ten hours. It primarily carried material goods and supplies, but it also accepted passengers, and was the cheapest mode of transit. When Vorhalas first saw the vehicle, he did not know what to make of it. It did look a bit like a tank, but if so, it was the weirdest tank he had ever seen.

Vorhalas had never been in such non-luxurious settings during this or his previous visit to Beta Colony. There were seats for everyone, and they were not too uncomfortable, but there was no privacy, except in the bathrooms and sex booths. Vorhalas was grateful that the Betans who passed the time by having sex at least did not do so in public view. There was constant chatter all over the place. There was a little café, and though the fare was probably okay, it was so beneath Vorhalas' accustomed palette that he was not tempted - he had brought his own food. He was a guest of honor here, so it stood to reason that he was used to the elite experience of Beta Colony, not the prole experience.

What most surprised Vorhalas was the physical sensations of bumps, vibrations, speeding up, slowing down, and things he could not guess. He had been on sea vessels on Barrayar, but this was more varied. And were they not on land? Vorhalas was certain that Beta Colony did not have any oceans.

"Excuse me," he finally asked a friendly-looking passenger. "Why isn't the ride smoother?"

"Oooh, you've never been to the yellow flag zone before, have you?"

"No, I haven't."

"This is a roadless vehicle."

"Roadless?"

"They can't maintain roads outside of the green flag zone, so there are no roads."

Vorhalas knew some military vehicles could travel through roadless terrain, but it had never occurred to him to put such vehicles to civilian use. "That means that this vehicle..."

"It has to change shape and use different times of motion, depending on the terrain. My name's Robin."

"I'm Yuri," Vorhalas said. He had decided in advance that he did not want the other passengers to know that he was Count Vorhalas, the longest-lived human in history. The crew knew, but they had kept their mouths shut. Thus, he had decided in advance that he would introduce himself as 'Yuri', his middle name, the name of his maternal grandfather Lord Yuri Rulf Vorpatril, if anyone asked.

"Say, you sound like you're from off-planet. Where are you from?"

"I'm a Russian citizen," Vorhalas said. It was true, he did have Russian citizenship.

"As in from Earth. Whoa. There is some seriously bad shit going down on Earth these days."

"I know. That's why I left."

"Anyway, it's cool that you're coming out to the yellow flag zone. Most visitors never even think of coming this way."

"Are you from the yellow flag zone?"

"Not originally. I moved out there because I wanted to have a kid. Much easier to get a child license in the yellow flag zone."

Vorhalas raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why?"

"Since you're from off-world, maybe you don't know that the number of child licenses granted is indexed to the sustainable capacity and the death rate of the region. Almost everyone wants to live in the green flag zone, and that's where the death rate is lowest, so you could wait a hundred years to get a child license there."

Vorhalas eyes popped. "A hundred years? You're serious?"

"Well, you don't always have to wait a hundred years. Some people get lucky."

"I thought all couples were allowed to have one child, and that licenses were only required for additional children."

"That was before the life extension treatment allowed to people to live much longer, pushing against the sustainable limits all the harder. They clamped down really hard on child licenses after life extension became widely available."

Vorhalas was quiet for a moment. "It seems that people are allowed to live longer in exchange for their children not being allowed to exist."

"That's one way to put it."

"Why is it easier to get a child license in the yellow flag zone?"

"Tougher weather, fewer comforts, less of an economy, it's not an attractive place to live, unless you're one of those people who hates metropolitan living. But there is more slack around the sustainable limits, and a higher death rate. It's worth it for me so I can have a kid. He's ten years old."

"Congratulations," Vorhalas said quietly.

"Yep. I only had to wait twenty-three years after we applied for the child license. I suppose it might seem strange to an offworlder. Though I'd think humans on Earth must have hit the sustainable limits as well."

"We have," Vorhalas said. "But instead of solving the overpopulation problem through birth control, we solve the problem by killing each other."

"You said it, not me." Robin coughed. "Anyway, on a more cheerful topic, have you been to the observation lounge."

"No. Why would I? Isn't it a barren planet. I thought that only microscopic lifeforms which can't be seen by the naked eye inhabit Beta Colony beyond the human settlements."

"You need to go to the observation lounge. You'll regret it if you don't."

Vorhalas went up to the observation lounge. There were so many people crowded around the windows he was not sure he would be able to see anything. After a few minutes, he found a gap where he could insert himself.

They were going through a valley amid a great expanse of black and white mountains. It was utterly unlike anything he would have expected of Beta Colony. It was unlike anything he had ever seen in his life. Was it possible to form mountains like this on a planet which never had rain? But maybe that explained the strange shapes of the mountains - however these mountains and this valley had formed, erosion by water could not have been part of it.

It was uncanny and it was gorgeous. Never, on all of the planets where Vorhalas had been, had he experienced a landscape which was so obviously devoid of life. He felt like an intruder, tucked into an alien vehicle in a vast land where life was not meant to be. No life was meant to appreciate the contrasting black and white colors, the shapes of the swirling granite sands, the forms of the rocks.

Vorhalas was humbled.

He was reading a book on Betan history which one of the professors had given him. It was a real book, with paper, binding, and a lovely cover. Vorhalas was willing to read electronic books when necessary, but he had a strong preference for physical books. He knew, based on what he had read in the book that, since this was the yellow zone, and it was daytime, it was most likely scorching hot beyond the climate-controlled interior of the convoy.

This was an aspect of Beta Colony he had ever considered before. For most of his life, he had thought of Betans as being a soft people who were spoiled by the conveniences of their fantastic technology. Yet now he had a glimpse of the unforgiving land which was the cradle of their society.


	4. Chapter 4

Vorhalas met with Walter Dubauer, a sociologist who specialized in the 'New Pioneers,' in Rhyolite. Though Walter knew that Vorhalas was _the Count Vorhalas_ , he did not make a big fuss about it, for which Vorhalas was grateful.

"I hope this is not an inconvenience to you," Vorhalas said.

"Not at all. I visit the New Pioneers frequently, and I am always happy to bring along others. I wish more people would visit them."

"What kind of reception might I expect?"

Walter paused before he said "Guests from other planets are generally very welcome. They'll forgive you if you break some of their rules as long as you don't break them a second time."

"That is a relief."

"We could leave first thing tomorrow morning, but perhaps you would like to see a little of Rhyolite first?"

"What is there to see?"

"That depends on what you want to see. Mostly, this is a trading outpost connecting a number of mining communities in the orange flag zone to the rest of Betan society. We're next to the most densely populated region of the orange flag zone, though connecting the phrase 'densely populated' to the orange flag zone is a bit of an oxymoron. We also have a smattering of various small cottage industries, as well as a tiny trickle of tourism."

"Do they run public convoys into the orange flag zone too."

"Nope, private and chartered transport only. That's why we're a local trade center."

"Hmmmm. I think I want to save myself for the New Pioneers. Perhaps I'll see some of Rhyolite after we return."

"Very well. We'll take off in the heavyflyer right after breakfast."

"Heavyflier? Not a lightflyer?"

"It's not safe to use lightflyers on Beta Colony."

"Really?"

"It's the storms. The weather is supposed to be clear tomorrow, but you can never completely trust the forecasts, and you don't want to be caught in a storm in a lightflyer. You don't want to be caught in a storm in a heavyflyer either, but your odds of survival are higher."

"I see. That helps explain why the convoys look like they have more armor than military tanks."

"Oh yes. They don't even bother offering suborbital flights between the two polar regions - to get from one pole to the other you have to take a shuttle in and out of space."

"I know that very old Betan buildings are all underground because that was the only way to protect them before the forcefields were built." Vorhalas paused as he realized something. "I know you have a forcefield around the town because people walk around without protective clothing, yet all of your buildings are underground. Is this a particularly old town."

"Far from it, Rhyolite is newer than just about any green flag city. However, you can't rely on forcefields here"

"I was under the impression that forcefields were generally effective in the yellow flag zone, just as in the green flag zone."

"'Generally' is the key word. We're on the border with the orange flag zone. The forcefield here works 99.9% of the time, but any weather event which can knock out our forcefield will also destroy any structure above ground."

"When was the last time the force field was shut down?"

"Seven months ago."

"I see. Did you move out here for your work?"

"To Rhyolite? Yes, I moved here so I could reach the New Pioneers more easily. But I was born and raised in the yellow flag zone. I find the green flaggers to be just as odd as the New Pioneers."

"Including your peers in academia?"

"Especially my peers in academia. In fact, I got interested in sociology in the first place because I was hoping it could explain green flaggers."

"You seem to proud of your yellow flag heritage."

"Damn straight I am. Back when the Betan Astronomical Survey still existed, even though less than five percent of Betans live in the yellow flag zone, about thirty percent of all people in the survey were yellow flaggers."

Vorhalas raised his eyebrows. "The Betan Astronomical Survey no longer exists?"

"Nope, it was shut down about sixty years ago. Real travesty. The proximate cause was terrible leadership. People argue about the deeper causes. Personally I'm in favor of starting it again, but it's tough to resurrect a dead institution."

Normally, Vorhalas would have pursued this inquiry further, but he felt tired, and yawned. "Excuse me, it's been a long day for me."

"Sure. Get a good sleep."

***

Walter's heavyflyer came with a viewer which allowed passengers to directly observe the landscape right below. Vorhalas made good use of it during the six hour flight.

He had never imagined that the Betan landscape had so much _variety_. In spite of the complete lack of any bodies of water or vegetation of any kind, one could observe as wide a range of different types of scenery on Beta Colony as Earth or Barrayar. Some of it was plain and monotonous, and some of it was stunningly gorgeous. 

It also gave Vorhalas a deeper sense of how alien humanity was to this planet. Barrayar at least had ecological niches which humans could slip into with some adaptation and symbiotes brought from Earth, but on Beta Colony there was practically no native ecology to slip into - humans had to create their own ecology from the rawest of materials.

And Beta Colony was very well endowed with materials, Vorhalas was learning from his book of Betan history. In fact, without the readily accessible and highly useful mineral deposits, the abundance of solar energy, and the barely breathable atmosphere, the original colony would not have been viable. There was a reason why nearly every city and town on the planet was named after a mineral.

The origin of that barely breathable atmosphere was haunting. The oxygen in the air was the legacy of an ecosystem which had once existed on Beta Colony - but which had gone entirely extinct, with the exception of the hardiest of microorganisms, long before the arrival of humans.

In Silica, Vorhalas had been completely oblivious to all of this. The metropolis was so well cocooned in technology which cushioned its humans from the alien landscape that it was easy to feel that one was in an environment designed from humans - because it was. However, the further one went from the green flag zone, Vorhalas was finding, the harder it was to ignore that beyond the barrier of techology lay a planet hostile to human life.


	5. Chapter 5

When the heavyflyer started to descend, Vorhalas could not see any landing strip. He presumed it was designed to land on the sand dunes.

It would be more accurate to say that the heavyflyer landed _into_ the sand dunes. Vorhalas was not sure whether the sand was so soft that they simply sunk into it, or whether the vehicle was actively burrowing into the sand. Probably the latter.

Vorhalas sat there for about ten minutes, wondering out they were going to get out. Walter then got out of the pilot's seat, and opened a hatch which Vorhalas had not seen used before. It led into a dark narrow tunnel which sloped downwards.

"Hope you're not claustrophobic," Walter said.

"Not especially," Vorhalas replied.

"Well, follow me."

Vorhalas slid down the tunnel after Walter. They seemed to be in a dark little chamber. Then a door opened, flooding the chamber with light. A woman wearing an odd suit was standing there.

"You must be Walter and Count Vorhalas. Welcome to Tobermor."

***

Since Walter was tired after the flight, and he wished to observe when the New Pioneers gave Vorhalas a tour of the settlement, that was postponed until the next day.

Vorhalas did not mind. It gave him a little time to absorb his surroundings before he was blasted with facts.

It seemed to him that the entire settlement was a giant chamber interspersed with ceiling supports. Vorhalas did not know why they did not build walls between rooms, though he was relieved when he discovered the bathroom at least had half-walls which blocked the view of most of his body while he sat on the toilet. He had requested that his hosts leave him alone while he relieved himself, but he saw that other Amish in the bathroom would chat with others beyond the half-wall as if they were still in the same room. Furthermore, the showers also had only half-walls, and Vorhalas noticed that the women seemed to have no problem with their chests being in public view.

At least the Amish had something approaching a sense of privacy when it came to personal hygiene. As far as Vorhalas could tell, they did not have even a modicum of privacy when it came to anything else. People went to sleep right where anyone could see them - wearing ear muffs and eyecovers. And people had sex right in the open, making no more attempt to hide it than one would try to hide a game of cards.

Vorhalas ate dinner with Walter and about five Amish people. The meat had a strange texture, but that did not surprise Vorhalas. He had read in the history book that the first settlers of Beta Colony had used vats to grow meat not because of ethical concerns but because it was the only practical way to have meat at all - they could not support keeping vertebrates for food. Furthermore, the vats used by the early Betans were optimized for resource efficiency, not to grow meat which tasted authentic.

Besides the meat was something which had a texture suspiciously similar to...

"Excuse me, do you keep _butter bugs_?"

"Yes, of course."

Vorhalas' face twisted with incredulity. "I happen to know for a fact that butter bugs are an anachronism here."

"One of the most common misconceptions outsiders have about the New Pioneers is that they believe that the New Pioneers are trying to reproduce the mechanics of the first pioneers' way of life," Walter said. "But I will let you explain,"

"Yes," said the Amish woman sitting next to Vorhalas. "We put into practice the _principles_ of the pioneers. When there is a new technology which we believe the first pioneers would have used had it been available, we consider adopting it. The butter bugs are extremely efficient, and would have been of great assistance to the first humans who came to this planet."

"Well, I'm glad you put herbs in it. It smells delightful," Vorhalas said.

"Thanks!" said an Amish man. "I'm responsible for maintaining the herb garden. It's the work I'm most proud of."

Vorhalas could not help staring at the woman sitting across from him. She was sitting in a _wheelchair_. The woman had clearly noticed that Vorhalas was staring at her. "Wheelchairs are a better use of resources than float chairs," was her comment. It was clear she was used to visitors wondering why she was in a float chair.

However, Vorhalas' greatest question was not why she was not in a float chair, but why she was here at all. Only disabled used wheelchairs. Beta Colony had such superior medicine that Vorhalas would not expect to see many disabled people here. If she was not disabled, then why use a wheelchair?

"Ahem. I do not know if you have a condition, but if you do, why has it not been cured? Do you have restrictions on the type of medical technology you can use?"

"For the most part, no, we do not put restrictions on use of medical technologies," an Amish man said. "We do not offer all forms of medicine here, but it is acceptable for us to travel to the yellow flag zone, or even the green flag zone if absolutely necessary, to receive medical treatment. The original pioneers had to limit their medical capacities because of necessity, but had it been possible for them to send their sick and injured back to Earth to treatment, they would not have hesitated to do so."

"And to answer your first question," the woman in the wheelchair replied, "my condition is incurable. The impairment is not in my arms and legs, or even in my spine. It's in my brain."

So she was disabled, and in Vorhalas' eyes, a burden on her companions. If these people were truly emulating pioneers, should they not dispose of anyone who could not pull their own weight? Perhaps they need not kill her, but surely it would make more sense to send her to the green zone? Vorhalas had no doubt that, prior to the end of the Time of Isolation, she would not have lived long on Barrayar. Even in the Barrayar of his youth, they could not afford the luxury of keeping such physically useless people.

"Could there have been someone like you among the original settlers of Beta Colony?" Vorhalas asked.

"Why not? In fact, Stephanie Alvarez, of of the first humans to live on Beta Colony, lost both of her legs during her first week here. They could not grow her new legs, so she just built some prosthetics with the materials they could spare."

"They kept her alive?"

"Of course? She was one of them. What reason did they have to kill her?"

"But she didn't have anything to contribute?"

"Nonsense, she was a climatologist. She discovered many important things about Beta Colony's climate. That's what she came here to do."

"I would also like to note that nobody here knows more about surface suits than Anna," Walter said. "She's saved lives with her careful examinations by finding defects too subtle for other eyes to catch."

Vorhalas almost asked another question, but he got the sense that he was pushing past some social limit, and that it would be wiser to keep his mouth shut. He still did not understand why people who were trying to emulate the original settlers of a planet would keep such a severely disabled person among themselves. 

At the same time, when he tried to articulate in his mind why this was so wrong, he was having trouble finding a coherent reason. It seemed so natural and obvious to him that clearly disabled people were leeches on society. It was a type of leech which a materially wealthy society could afford as a sentimental luxury, but not a society which was bound by harsh physical realities.

He supposed Aral Vorkosigan's son had managed to make some impressive contributions in spite of his physical deformities.

Physical deformities which had been caused by his _own_ son.

He did not want to continue down that line of thinking. He did not want to bring the feelings he had about his sons to the forefront to his mind. Not now. He was here to learn about the Amish, not to wallow in his own painful past.

Of course, to Vorhalas, being disabled was closely related to being a mutie, and that was one of the most shameful things a human being could be. In his youth, the best fate for a mutie was a swift and painless death. He thought one of the best things about gene-cleaning and related galactic reproductive technologies was that it prevented muties from being born in the first place, and that is why he had supported increasing access to uterine replicators during his political career long ago.

And then there was the quiet truth that, in a way, he was himself a mutie. He carried the gene which, combined with the Durona life extension treatment, allowed people to live indefinitely. That gene was so rare that it had not been discovered in any of the inbred high Vor aside from himself and his son Carl. That meant it must have been a very recent mutation - Vorhalas himself might be the original carrier of the gene.

But he did not feel that carrying that little mutation made him a mutie. It did not disable or disfigure him in any way - on the contrary, that little mutation might have done more good for the human race than Vorhalas' entire political career. 

"Excuse me," Vorhalas said. "I do not always understand Betan customs." He tried to think of a way to change the topic. "For example, I have only heard your first names. On Barrayar, and also on Earth, people generally introduce themselves by their full names."

"You want to know our full names? That's not a problem. I'm Ernest Levarre."

"I'm Anna Hennessey III."

"I'm George Sturgeon."

"I'm Taylor Gaines."

"I'm Maybelle Meadows," the woman next to Vorhalas said.

"Meadows?" Vorhalas said. The name sounded awfully familiar. And it was not just any kind of familiar, it was a _Barrayar_ kind of familiar. However, 'Meadows' was not a Barrayaran name. Suddenly, Vorhalas remembered a face, a face he had not seen in centuries. Someone, the face of this woman was associated with the name 'Meadows' yet Vorhalas had trouble remembering who this woman was.

"Is that enough for you?" Maybelle asked.

"It's just that I feel like I ought to know the name 'Meadows.' Do you have any really famous relatives?"

"Not really. Oh, I had a great-aunt who married a Barrayaran, but I think she probably died even before your time."

"A Betan marrying a Barrayaran _before_ my time? That can't be. That would me-" Realization dawned on Vorhalas. "Princess Maryam Meadows Vorbarra. Of course."

"Yes, that's my great-aunt's name!"

"Your grandfather's sister?"

"Actually, my grandmother's sister."

"I presume that your family passes your surname on the matrilineal line. I know some Betan familes pass names through the father's line and some through the mother's." Vorhalas' mouth hung just a little open. "I knew your great-aunt. Never very well, but I've spoken with her, and as a teenager I even danced with her once at, oh, I don't even remember what the event was. It was probably the Emperor's Birthday or something on that order, since she never came out in public except when social rules absolutely demanded it. Some of my peers made fun of me for dancing with such an old woman, but I think my father was trying to curry favor with Prince Xav, and I really do not remember the details." 

"Did you like my great-aunt?" Maybelle asked.

"Honestly? I don't think I ever thought about her in terms of like and dislike." Vorhalas drank some water. He wished it were an alcoholic beverage. "You know, when I came here, I did not have the slightest idea that I would find such a connection to my past here. Ever since I left Barrayar, I've gotten used to my past being neatly tucked away, completely separate from my present life. I focus on _other people's_ past, not my own."

"I hope it doesn't bother you."

"Oh, it doesn't bother me at all. It's a pleasant surprise." Vorhalas took another good look at Maybelle. "She was your grandmother's sister. That means that you take the life extention treatments."

"I do," Maybelle replied. "It is also possible that I was conceived from gametes which had been kept frozen for a very long time. But the truth is that I take the life extension."

"Surely you don't have the facilities for that here," Vorhalas said.

"We don't," George confirmed. "We have to go to Rhyolite."

"You do," said Taylor. "I refuse."

"You may change your mind when you're older," Ernest said.

"I have no intention of judging," Vorhalas said. "I'm just curious how your people think about life extension."

"It's a bit of a controversial topic," Anna said. "We are all permitted to take the life extension if we wish. Some of us think that the first pioneers would have embraced the treatment had it been an option for them. But this is not merely useful, like the butter bugs. This is a technology which can completely transform a peron's relationship to life and death. Some of us feel that we need to have the same kinds of lifespans as the first pioneers to truly understand their outlook on life."

"And it's because some of us abstain from life extension that we're allowed to have more children than just about anyone else on Beta Colony," George said. "That is terribly ironic."

"Why is that ironic?" Vorhalas asked.

"There have always been Betans who want to ignore the limits of what kind of human life and comforts can be sustained on our planet," Walter said. Vorhalas had no doubt that he disdained those Betans. "They want to loosen the birth limits so they can have as many children as they want. The New Pioneers have always opposed such loosening, indeed have advocated even more strigent restrictions on child licenses. Without stringent population control, the original settlement of Beta Colony would have failed, and the New Pioneers want to ensure that our society does not fail because some people are too short-sighted. So yes, it's ironic that the New Pioneers now have less restrictions on having children than any other group of Betans."

"That's interesting," was Vorhalas' comment.

They continued to eat, and from that point on they mostly discussed light topics.

***

Sleeping on his mat - with eye covers and ear muffs - the thing Vorhalas could not stop thinking about was Anna and her wheelchair. It still boggled his mind that they kept someone like that here? Why have a burden like that?

Part of Vorhalas mind kept on insisting that cripples could not contribute to society, but another part of his mind recalled examples of crippled people from Russia's history who had notable achievements.

Maybe Barrayar's disdain for cripples and muties was not because they took resources, but because of something even Vorhalas would not want to admit to himself.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Vorhalas was roused awake by Maybelle.

"Good morning, Gregor," she said.

"Please don't call me that," Vorhalas said. "It's fine if you just call me Vorhalas and leave out the 'Count', but don't call me 'Gregor'."

"Oh," Maybelle said. "Is there a Barrayaran custom against referring to people by their first names?"

"Typically no, and I suppose there's no reason not to call me 'Gregor' aside from myself being completely unaccustomed to being addressed by that name," Vorhalas said. "Among the Vor, when one happens to have the same given name as the reigning emperor, it is considered improper to use that name unless the occasion requires full name and title."

"Your full name and title is 'Count Gregor Yuri Vorhalas,' isn't it?"

"Correct. Even though Emperor Gregor died over a century ago, I still have not been comfortable with using my first name. Generally, one would switch to using one's middle name in such circumstances, but my middle name is 'Yuri', the same name as a notorious emperor whose reign I survived. Thus, I was always referred to as 'Count Vorhalas' or, in very informal settings, 'Vorhalas'."

"Was the emperor named after you?"

"No. Or rather, I don't know why they chose that name for him, so I suppose it is conceivable that he was named after me, but nobody has ever told me that it was so. It's a common Barrayarran name."

Maybelle brought Vorhalas to a little table with breakfast set upon it where Walter was already seated.

"Since I do have a distant family connection to Barrayar, I volunteered to give you the tour," Maybelle said.

"Excellent!" Vorhalas said. "To be precise, you are the grand-niece of my first cousin-once-removed-in-law."

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry, I know many people are not as keen on tracing family trees as the Vor," Vorhalas said. "Your great-aunt married my first-cousin-once-removed, Prince Xav. His mother was the sister of my grandfather, Count Gregor Pierre Vorhalas."

"I see," Maybelle said politely. Vorhalas could tell that she did not care about Vor genealogy, so he did not elaborate further. "Were you born a Count?" she asked.

"No, not at all. I became Count Vorhalas when I was sixteen years old. It must have been just months after I danced with your great-aunt."

"How did you become a count when you were sixteen?"

"My father, the previous Count Vohalas, died."

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that." She then processed what he had said. "Your father died when you were sixteen!"

"It was not uncommon in those times on Barrayar to lose one's parents as a teenager. It was not uncommon to lose one's parents at even younger ages." Vorhalas said soberly.

"How did he die?"

"In battle, during the war between Yuri and Ezar. Thankfully, he fought for Ezar, the winning side. It would have been harder for the district if we had been on the loser's side." Vorhalas sighed. "I was a fool at that age, but I had just enough sense to avoid doing anything irrevocable. I wanted to be a warrior, because I was Vor, and we were a warrior caste. But my father died so early in the war, and suddenly I was responsible for the district and for all of my younger siblings. I knew that I could not take care of them and serve as a soldier at the same time. So I did not fight, and it grated on me, made me feel like I was less of a Vor."

"How many younger siblings did you have?"

"Four. One brother and three sisters."

"And you mother?"

"Died giving birth to my youngest sister."

"That's horrible."

"It is horrible, but in those days, not uncommon. My stepmother ran off to her own family of origin as soon as my father died. I don't blame her, because her brother's family needed her as much as we did, and we weren't her flesh and blood."

"So it was really just you, taking care of four children at sixteen."

"Not by myself, thank goodness. I had the armsmen and servants."

"Are any of your siblings still around?"

"No, they all died long ago. My brother Rulf and my sister Ana died before the life extension was an option, and my sisters Lila and Rose did not have the gene which would have spared them the brain disease."

"That is unlucky."

Vorhalas did not want to dwell on his long-dead brother and sisters. "Having to care for so many at so young an age meant that never in my life have I served in the military, except for the few days before my father's death. I did not go to the military academy because I was busy with my duties as brother and count. As a young man, I found it hard to relate to my peers who had real military experience, and I found some nasty ways to punish myself for my perceived inadequacy. It took me about ten years to get over myself, to understand that being a steward is just as essential a quality of being Vor as being a warrior. What is the point of fighting if one has nothing to protect, and how can one have anything to protect if one cannot nurture? Besides, my brother excelled in the military academy and became an excellent admiral, thus sustaining the Vorhalas' military legacy. Frankly, he was a better soldier than I ever would have been, just I don't think he would have been a good count. We were born in the right order. I'm sorry, I'm babbling."

"It's okay, it's interesting," Maybelle said.

"I also find it interesting," Walter said.

"Ah, well. It also became a political hindrance. Whenever my opponents disagreed with me, especially when I was advocating for a less belligerent path, such as not invading Komarr, I was accused of being a coward without any real fighting experience. Fortunately, I had learned not to give a damn. If they had to resort to ad hominem arguments to defend their stance, that meant their stance was rubbish."

"Well, I think we Betans appreciate pacifist Barrayarrans," Walter said. "As you may have noticed, we tend to stereotype Barrayarrans as being warmongers, and it's not a nice stereotype."

"Yes, I've noticed during my time away from Barrayar that it often helps to emphasize that I was a Barrayarran politician who often opposed war," Vorhalas said. "I am truly grateful that I learned how to stand for what was just rather than to stand for what would impress other Vor men before I did something terribly self-destructive. One of my greatest regrets is that I was not able to teach my sons that lesson before it was too late."

"Your sons?" Maybelle asked.

"One got into a mock duel and was executed because it violated the law. The other attempted to assassinate the regent, and died fighting on the behalf of a usurper," Vorhalas said.

Maybelle and Walter were quiet.

"I don't want to talk about my sons," Vorhalas said. "Well, I'm just about done eating. I'm ready for the tour."


	7. Chapter 7

They spent an especially long time in the room where they made and repaired the optical fibers which were used to transmit light from the surface to the underground farm. Maybelle explained that the inspiration for this type of agriculture had come from the window plant, which grows in Namaqualand on Earth. Window plants do photosynthesis underground where temperatures are cooler than on the surface. The light required for photosynthesis comes from optical fibers, the only part of the plant which grew above the surface.

"We have a special design which allows for the concentration of light. Right now we can put one acre of surface light on just a third of an acre," Maybelle explained. "We use plants which have been specially bred to withstand very high levels of light, much more light than a plant would ever receive under normal Earth conditions."

"And I guess that those specially bred plants have a very high yield?" Vorhalas suggested.

"Correct. That means we need less space for the farm, which means less need for maintenance."

During this tour, Vorhalas was beginning to get an idea of just how much work it was to maintain an underground site capable of sheltering humans from the weather of Beta Colony's red flag zone.

"By the way, when we show you around the farm, we will all need to wear protective glasses."

"With so much light, would water not become a bottleneck?"

"First, we select plants which need less water. Second, we aggressively recycle all water, and I can show you a few of the ways we do that later in the tour. However, there is also a little water loss to the environment which we are unable to prevent, so we do have to synthesize water from the deposits of certain minerals. It's very energy intensive - much more energy intensive than water synthesis in the green flag zone. However, when one adds up all of the energy it takes to synthesize and transport water from the green zone to here, it is roughly the same as the energy required to synthesize water here. We choose self-sufficiency."

"Do you mean that chemical synthesis is also the main source of water in the green flag zone. Water that is not recycled, I mean."

"Yes. It's one of the biggest limits on population growth on Beta Colony."

"Could you elaborate?"

"Wasteful as the government is, they at least have taken stock of planet's currently accessible mineral deposits, how much is needed to keep a person alive for one year, and the person-years which current mineral stocks can support. Currently, population is legally required to be controlled to a level where current stocks can last a thousand years."

"I see. And what will happen a thousand years from now?"

"That is an excellent question, and exactly why the policy need to be stricter. However, just as sensible people point out the folly of setting up a thousand-year ticking bomb, others insist that they deserve to waste resources now and have lots of children, even if it will be the death of our society."

"It occurs to me that, if you have a resource crunch in a thousand years, that I might be alive to witness it."

"And this is one of the many wrinkles caused by life extension. It was easy for politicians to kick the can down the road when they thought their great-great grandchildren wouldn't live to deal with the consequences, but now that they might live to reap the consequences - I take that back, it doesn't make a difference to them. They are just as foolish as ever."

"I'm curious, what do the people who want to increase resource usage propose to do about resource depletion?"

So far, Walter had been quietly observing the tour, but at this point he finally spoke. "They say that we will continue to develop new technology to be able to access previously inaccessible deposits," Walter said.

"Folly!" Maybelle said. "Once new technology is developed and usable, it's fine to count the newly accessible deposits, but not before. If it cannot be accessed with current technology, it is unwise to assume accessibility. Furthermore, humans are already using mineral deposits at a rate much faster than they are replenished by natural forces."

"Human activity is also increasing Beta Colony's humidity. Some say that, by the time we have used down the resources needed to synthesize water, there will be enough humidity to extract water directly from the atmosphere."

"I've done the math myself. Even after humans have synthesized as much water as possible given the amount of energy available, it won't be enough to raise Beta Colony's humidity high enough to make the atmosphere a viable source of water."

"I agree with you," Walter said. "I merely wanted to give examples of some of the flawed arguments people used to advocate loosening the restrictions on resources and population."

"What do your people plan to do about resource depletion?" Vorhalas asked.

"That is one of the most important reasons we are here, in the red flag zone," Maybelle said. "The government only counts resources in the green, yellow, and orange flag zones because those are the resources which are 'economically' recoverable. However, the first humans on Beta Colony lived in conditions like the red flag zone, and they survived. The mineral deposits here are perfectly useful if one is willing to work hard and use only what you need."

"Does that not just delay the problem?"

"It is just a delay, but it is a very long delay. We reckon that, with wisdom, humans could persist on Beta Colony for over a hundred thousand years, and that might be enough time for humans to think of even better ways to survive on Beta Colony. By living here, we are gradually better adapting to the red flag zone. Who knows, we may eventually figure out how to put self-sufficient communities in the black flag zone."

"I know, based on my readings on Betan history, that you have done extensive terraforming on Beta Colony. That is why the green flag zone is now a green flag zone and not a red flag zone, as it was when humans first came to this planet. Is the terraforming not continuing?"

Maybelle looked to Walter. Walter coughed. "The terraforming has become too risky. We have reached a sweet spot where we have managed to reduce the violence of out planet's weather. However, if we continued to terraform beyond this point, our weather would become increasingly, not decreasingly, destructive."

"Or more accurately, the green flag zone's infrastructure cannot withstand the weather volatility which would come with the terraforming which would convert more of the blag flag zone into red flag zone," Maybelle said. "If the green flaggers were willing to live as we do, they could cope with more volatile weather, and there would be more livable space for all humans on our planet."

"I see," Vorhalas said.

"You know, I'm impressed," Maybelle said. "I expected to have to simplify a lot more things. Most green flaggers wouldn't have been able to understand so much, and you're not even from our planet."

"I ran Vorhalas district for over a century," Vorhalas said. "Though the challenges of Vorhalas district are not the same as the challenges of the red flag zone, I had to learn a lot about natural resources, agriculture, and infrastructure. And this tour is fascinating."

***

When Vorhalas got up the next morning, he saw that Walter was already engaged in a conversation with a person he did not recognize. He did not want to interrupt, so he just got dressed, trying to pretend that he was in a private space.

Once Walter was available, Vorhalas asked "So, what is our estimated time of departure? An hour? Two hours."

"We're not leaving today," Walter said. "A storm has blown in."


	8. Chapter 8

For the next hour, there was a flurry of activity. Vorhalas ate breakfast with Walter, since nobody else was sitting down.

"Is there anything I can do?" Vorhalas asked.

"Nope, you wouldn't have a clue. Even I would be more hindrance than help," Walter said. "In any case, they are probably almost done."

"Almost done?"

"With the emergency storm proofing. Then it will be party time."

"Party time?"

"There have been no deaths, and this far along, there are unlikely to be any deaths."

"And that is cause for celebration?"

"Indeed. The most dangerous time is when the storm first comes. Not reaching shelter in time is the number one cause of death in the red flag zone."

"Were there deaths during the last storm?"

"Two, I hear."

"I see why everyone coming through alive is cause for celebration. But does it not make more sense to wait until the storm is over?"

"There's not much work which can be done during a storm. The people who work on the surface are all down here, and even many the people who stay underground all of the time can't do they ordinary jobs. Besides, they will also have to work even harder than usual when the storm's over to clean up the mess, so there will be no time for fun then."

"What if someone had died just now?"

"Then we would be preparing for a funeral."

"I see."

By the time they were finished eating, Vorhalas could see that it was more crowded than he had ever seen it before. He heard more and more laughter. Eventually Maybelle came over, and brought over a bottle.

"Is that real alcohol?" Walter asked.

"Yep," Maybelle said. "It can get you drunk. Want some?"

"No thanks," Walter said. "I prefer the safer intoxicants."

"I'll drink," Vorhalas said. "Back in my youth, real alcohol was the only kind we had."

"It's the only kind we have here too," Maybelle said. "Much less resource-intensive to brew. But we're only allowed to drink during storms - after the proofing is over."

Vorhalas took a sip. He guessed that it was about 8% alcohol. The minty flavor was not bad, but it was something one would drink mainly to get tipsy.

"You don't have to stay with me," Vorhalas said.

"But you will be leaving as soon as it is safe. Everyone else I can see any time," Maybelle said.

"How did you become a New Pioneer?" Vorhalas asked. "Were your parents New Pioneers?"

"No. I joined when I was about forty years old."

"Why?"

"I suppose the simplest way to put it is that I felt like my life did not have meaning. I did not have any good friends, my job felt pointless, it all just seemed like I was breathing and eating and shitting, and even though I lived in the biggest city on the planet, I wasn't really connected to people."

"Anomie," Vorhalas said.

"I don't know that word. Life here is much harder, but here, I have a mission. I know everybody, I depend on them, they depend on me. My food does not come from food processing plant I will never see - all my food comes from here, and I know who prepares it and how they do it. The details of our lives are not like the first pioneers, but I know they also had that spirit of hard work, and treating everyone as precious because they are all you have."

"Would you say that increasingly advanced technology has been bad for social bonds on Beta Colony?"

"It is not the technology. We use some very advanced technology here. I would say that meeting one's needs by less and less personal means is the problem."

"Generally, how many New Pioneers were born into your system, and how many came as adults, like yourself?"

"Approximately two-thirds join as adults," Walter helpfully answered. "And of the children who grow up among the New Pioneers, two-thirds stay as adults, and the rest leave."

A new thought occurred to Vorhalas. "I do not recall seeing where you keep the uterine replicators during the tour."

"We do not have any."

Vorhalas blinked. "No uterine replicators?"

"Too difficult to maintain, and we don't need them."

"But you're Betan. The uterine replicator was invented by your people. It is quintessentially Betan."

"That does not mean we have to use them."

"Are you allowed to travel to other zones to use uterine replicators?"

"No. Travel for medical treatment is permitted to preserve life, not to create life. We want to limit population increase. If someone does not want a child badly enough to bear a child, then it is better that they not create a child."

"That is a perspective which never occurred to me."

They continued drinking a little while.

"Another good thing about living here is that I feel closer to my ancestors," Maybelle said.

"That is a blessing."

"It's little things, you know? I know that off-worlders generally think we Betans don't have much of a sense of privacy. I had always taken it for granted as some random quirk of ours, but now that I live here, I understand that our culture is this way because privacy was not an option for the pioneers. Things like that. I have a deeper sense of what being Betan means."

Vorhalas had already deduced that it would be challenging for the New Pioneers to have much privacy given the constraints of their lives.

"It has also been very enlightening for me," Vorhalas said. "I have a hypothetical question. If one of your people was somehow hit by a nerve disruptor so that they were still alive but lost a lot of their brain function, and you had to take a dangerous journey for several days to bring that person to safety, would you do it."

"Of course!" Maybelle said.

"Even if they were incapable of doing anything useful? Even if they practically did not have a mind or personality anymore? Even if they needed caregivers for the rest of their lives?"

"That makes no difference."

"But your resources are so limited."

"Sometimes, it is not possible to save someone. Even though we have become very good at delaying death, death still comes for us all. But if it is possible, you do it. In order to live the way you do, you have to believe that everyone around you will take care of you when you need it, no matter what. To abandon someone when you could save them would break the promise we all need to stay alive."

Vorhalas sat there quietly for a minute. He did not even drink. "I think I see," he finally said. "I think I finally see what Aral Vorkosigan saw almost three hundred years ago."

"Care to explain?" Walter asked.

"I've heard a story that when Aral met his Betan wife, she was with a companion who had been injured by a nerve disruptor. He offered her companion a painless death, but she insisted that they take him alive across an unexplored planet."

"And you didn't understand why she did that?"

"No, that's not the part of the story which baffled me. I could even understand why he indulged her - he probably needed her cooperation. What I could never believe before was that this is what made Aral determined to marry her."

"I find it odd that he would want to marry her because of that, and I'm Betan," Maybelle said.

"No, it was because he was _not_ Betan," Vorhalas said. "Our culture values honor and courage. But now, held up to the mirror of your culture, it becomes clear that we do not value life. We pride ourselves on not letting sentimentality stop us from letting the weak die. We tell ourselves that the weak will spread their weakness and kill us all. We can overcome sentimentality and do the 'right' thing because we have courage. Now, for the first time in my life, I see that that is not courage - it is cowardice. That must be what Aral saw a long time ago."

Vorhalas took a big drink. A tear came from one of his eyes. 

"Maybe you could ease up on the booze?" Walter suggested.

All around them, boisterous people had been having fun. But more and more people were turning their attention towards Vorhalas. They were concerned. He would have liked to slip away to a private area, but he knew that was impossible. So he simply said "Thank you, thank you. I don't need help. I am just grateful to be here among you now." The onlookers seemed to accept this, and returned to their merrymaking.

Vorhalas knew that he could not physically hear the storm from so deep underground. Yet he felt that he could sense its violent fury high above.


	9. Chapter 9

Vorhalas had managed to get a little involved in the First Pioneers's festivities. He even had learned a couple new games.

Now he was out of Tobemor, flying above the landscape in Walter's heavyflyer.

"I don't remember it looking like this," Vorhalas commented as he looked at the view.

"Storms do that," Walter responded.

As Vorhalas looked at the landscape, he pondered what he had learned over the past few days.

Earth had a lush and rich biosphere - and thus life was cheap. It was conceivable that the wars on Earth would kill a billion people over the next decade. Yet since Earth had the most human-friendly environment of any planet, the population could recover from such a blow within a century.

On Beta Colony, which barely had a biosphere, life was expensive. Every little expansion of that biosphere required a bitter fight. That is why they were so careful about creating new life, and why they held life so dear. Their war with their own planet was so demanding they could not afford to wage war upon each other.

Barrayar was a lot more like Earth than Beta Colony.

***

"I think I would like to see a little of your yellow-flag town," Vorhalas said once they had landed in Rhyolite. "But I do not want to inconvenience you. If you could just recommend-"

"It would be my pleasure," Walter said. "I have no pressing deadlines, and you are a unique man."

"In that case, I am in your hands. I will go where you lead me."

"Let's freshen up first."

By Vorhalas' living standards on both Barrayar and Earth, Walter's home was very plain and humble - just a very utilitarian and sparsely furnished apartment. However, compared to Tobemor, it seemed luxurious. There were multiple rooms, and it was possible to have privacy and solitude.

Walter was able to simply take some refreshments out of the food storage himself, which was not possible in Tobemor. Because Vorhalas was a guest, meals had been prepared and served, but among the First Pioneers nobody could casually take food when they wanted - all withdrawals from food storage had to be approved by a rationmaster.

Walter handed Vorhalas a drink. By the taste, it seemed to be some type of hibiscus tea supplemented with electrolytes.

"I'm fairly beat right now," Walter said. "I can show you around tomorrow. But feel free to walk around on your own this evening. The people here don't bite, I promise."

"I would actually like to talk more with you, if you're not too tired."

"I'm alright. What do you want to talk about?"

"I'd like to hear more about the Betan Survey. Why was it disbanded?"

"Ah, that. It was a series of disasters really. There have always been survey ships getting destroyed, but at some point more were getting destroyed than the budget could handle. And it turned out that the budget was in such bad shape because of some gross mismanagement by the senior officers in the survey. When it was finally made public that some of those ships had been destroyed because of shoddy workmanship done to save a buck, that was it. Risking your life for science is one thing, risking your life so your boss could save a buck is something else. Recruitment nosedived, which meant the quality of work went down, which mean the politicians were giving less funding, and it was vicious spiral downwards."

"Yet you think the survey could have been preserved?"

"Obviously not with the utter nincompoops who were running the show at the end. But with competent people in charge, I think the survey could have turned itself around."

"I recall you saying something about deeper causes before."

"Ah yes. The budget constraints were obviously a problem, though I think that it was possible to provide the survey all the resources it needed without hurting other priorities."

"Other priorities?"

"Maintenance of infrastructure is more expensive on Beta Colony than many planets. Not as expensive as space station maintenance, but that's why space stations are small. And as the infrastructure ages, maintenance bills go up. Also, life extension is offered to all citizens."

"I am very impressed that you do offer life extension to everyone. I do not think there is any other planet in the Nexus which offers universal life extension." Vorhalas sighed. "I remember that when the Durona treatment first became available, they thought that as time went by the treatment would become cheaper and thus more widely available. It is true that the _base_ treatment has become much cheaper. However, life extension brought with it a whole slew of new health problems. For example, I have Durona Liver Disease, which is why I need to get a new liver every ten years."

"My timing was lucky. I started the life extension treatment just after they figured out how to prevent that one."

"I'm lucky that it can be treated effectively. However, the costs for all of the supplemental treatments means that effective life extension is just as expensive as it ever has been."

"Yes. I will not deny that the increases in the health budgets required to make life extension available put pressure on funding the survey. However, I think that there was a deeper cause than the money."

"And what is that?"

"Diminishing returns. The last discovery which got the public fired up was the planet Uhsiville-Kampein about a hundred and fifty years ago. The low hanging fruit had all been picked, and making new exciting discoveries was going to require a lot more resources."

"Yet you think that it would be good to restart the Betan Survey?"

"Yes. They did a lot of important science work right to the very end, even if it was not flashy."

"What was the purpose of the Betan Survey?"

"Don't you know?"

"I want to hear how you would phrase it."

"It's to explore the galaxy and expand the boundaries of human space."

"And why do you want to do that?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"No, it's not obvious, because _I am not Betan_."

"I'd think it's obvious to non-Betans too."

Vorhalas coughed. "Even though Barrayar has more than enough resources to run its own survey, it has not. In fact, it would be unthinkable to us, across the entire political spectrum."

"You sort of discovered Sergyar."

"Accidentally, in a _military_ survey of Komarran wormholes. And a fat lot of good it did us."

"You're referring to the revolution?"

"Partially. I'm not sure there was any good way to integrate Sergyar into the Imperium, which is why I do not entirely blame the Vorkosigans for sowing the seeds of rebellion. The safest course of action would have been to sell it to Escobar at the beginning and wipe our hands clean. At least we failed to invade Escobar - if we had tried to _rule_ Escobar I am certain it would have been a greater disaster than all of the Komarran and Sergyarran revolts combined."

"While Barrayar obviously governed Sergyar horribly, I think you were right to settle it. It is such a jewel of a planet."

"There are things which are far more important than jewels. My ancestors understood that, which is why they did not fritter our fortune away on synthetic gemstones."

"And didn't you Barrayarrans find that other planet, I forget what it's called-"

"Dorcayar, yes. During all of our thorough investigations of Barrayarran space, the route to Dorcayar is the only alternative to the Komarran route we have ever found. It does not connect to any other settled planet, which is why Barrayar is still in a cul-de-sac, and it's uninhabitable."

"I think I read somewhere that Dorcayar could be settled..."

"Yes, if we used Betan technology. Because Dorcayar is no more inhabitable than Beta Colony. Less, because Dorcayar does not have nearly as many useful mineral deposits. Why would we bother?"

"Well, I suppose you already have Barrayar."

"Precisely. Even Komarr is more appealing than Dorcayar."

"It seems that you are trying to get me to say that Barrayar does not have its own survey because you already have a nice planet, and that we had the survey because our own planet is so difficult?"

"That is what I suspect, but I may be wrong. That is why I want to hear you talk about it."

"I suppose there may be something to that. We are the first permanent human colony off of Earth, a stepping stone to settling the Nexus. I suppose the survey had always been a part of that legacy of spreading humanity across the stars."

"You speak of 'humanity' not 'Beta Colony'."

"Yes, so?"

"We Barrayarrans are not concerned we advancing 'humanity'. We are primarily concerned with ourselves. I think it's one of the differences between your culture and mine."

"Well, I'm proud to work for 'humanity'!"

"And there is no reason for you not to be proud. I do wonder, is the reason why you favor restarting the Betan Survey is so that Beta Colony could continue to be relevant to humanity as a whole, rather than merely relevant to itself?"

"Who is the sociologist here?"

"I _am_ a professional historian, and there is much overlap between history and sociology." 

"Well, I'm enough of a professional to not want to answer that question without thinking about it."

"That is fair."

They continued snacking and talked about light topics for the next hour, then they both retired.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a reference to the fanfic [_A Bit Too Much Good Work_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4168539/chapters/9409704).

Vorhalas and Walter were sitting in an empty classroom at the Rhyolite school.

"Was that worth your time?" Walter asked.

"It was," Vorhalas said. "The teacher is good, and the children are adorable. I even learned something about math."

"Surely you already knew algebra."

"If I did, I forgot it a long time ago."

"You know, this type of school instruction is rare in the green flag zone."

Vorhalas raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Most schoolchildren in the green flag zone have an electronic primary education, not face-to-face classroom instruction."

Vorhalas coughed. "And what do you think of that?" he asked.

"I grew up in the yellow-flag zone, so my early school days were much like this. It helped me develop close relationships with my peers. Didn't like all of 'em, but I sure got to know them. To me, this is the most natural kind of education."

"May I ask why you do not use electronic-based education in the yellow-flag zone?"

"Our electronic communication networks are much more limited here. It's not possible to run wires between towns, so all wired communication is strictly local, and the distances are too great for most wireless communication technologies. All long distance communication is by satellite."

"And you have to limit the number of satellites in orbit to avoid Kessler syndrome."

"Yes, of course we do. We have enough satellite access to meet our needs, but not enough to educate our children through remote schooling."

"Could you not run the remote schooling from the local communication network?"

"We could, but it is actually cheaper to keep a schoolhouse and hire a teacher."

"How do you think yellow-flag and green-flag education systems compare?"

"I'm warning you, I wrote a thesis on this. I could talk about it for days."

"Thanks for the warning. I just want a summary."

"According to official diagnostics of child development, remote education from electronic systems leads to better results than face-to-face schooling, presumably because the electronic school systems were designed by our finest education experts. However, I think the remote education system is tailored specifically to score well on those official diagnostics, and that it misses some important qualities. It has been noted that people who grow up in the yellow flag zone are better socialized than people who grow up in the green flag zone, and I claim that one of the reasons is that we still rely primarily on face-to-face contact for primary education."

"I think that would be obvious," Vorhalas said.

"So you agree?"

"I agree that face-to-face education is clearly better than education by an electronic device. I recognize that remote education can be useful for developing specific skills, but it is no substitute for the living breath of another human being."

"I suppose in your childhood there was no electronic-based education on Barrayar."

"That is correct."

"Is this anything like the classrooms you were in back then?"

"There were no classrooms."

"No classrooms? Then where were classes held?"

"I had never attended a class in my life before I moved to Earth."

Walter blinked. "Are you telling me that you did not have any formal education in the first _two centuries_ of your life?"

"That depends on how you define 'formal' but the short answer is no."

"Who taught you how to read?"

"My grandmother."

"Math?"

"My father." 

"Science?"

"I learned about science when I needed to know about it."

"History?"

"My grandmother and father."

"Literature?"

"My father instructed me to read certain important literary works, and then we would discuss them. My grandmother taught me most of the Shakespeare plays but my father taught me his favorite play, _Coriolanus_ , himself."

"And how did they teach you Shakespeare?"

"I memorized the plays from their breath. It's best to learn Shakespeare from living breath and not from written words."

"They had time to teach you all this? And to recite Shakespeare plays often enough for you to memorize them?"

"From the age of ten, I was my father's shadow. Everything of importance that he did as Count Vorhalas, I witnessed. That was how I learned how to be a count."

"Was everyone on Barrayar educated like that back then?"

"No. Even then, there was already a military academy for young Vor men, which my brother Rulf attended. My sister Rose went to the new finishing schools for Vor women, though my other sisters were educated at home. The tradition of raising one's sons by keeping them at one's side was already dying, and if my father had not been so committed to Vor ways, he probably would have sent me to the academy too."

"I see."

"If he had sent me to an academy, I would have received military training, and probably continued fighting in Yuri's war after my father's death. Traditionally, a male relative would have taught me how to be a warrior, but since the years leading up to Yuri's war were peaceful, my father never had the chance before the war, and he died too soon in the war to teach me anything. And all of my uncles had died much earlier in the war against the Cetagandans. Ironically, my father's choice to raise me in the traditional way deprived me of the most traditional component of all, the military apprenticeship.

"I reluctantly sent my boys to school too. I feared that, given that the High Vor had stopped training their children through apprenticeship by then, they needed to be in school to develop good relationships with their peers, and there was also the problem that I could not give them proper training as warriors. It is one of my deepest regrets. I will always wonder if they would have survived had I taken their education into my own hands rather than delegate it to schools."

"That must be painful."

"Mmmm. Now I'm thinking of when the integration of Vor schools came up in the Council of Counts. I knew perfectly well that the schools were not truly traditional because traditional education happens in families, not schools. The only saving grace the 'traditional Vor' schools had was that they upheld the Vor social network, and the integration bill was going to strip that away. That is why I opposed it. However, after the bill passed, a few high Vor families pulled their children out of the school system and started teaching them at home, just as it ought to be done. If I had known the bill was going to have that effect, I might have voted for it. And then Count Vorrutyer would have also owed me a favor."

"I didn't follow all of that."

"It's not important, I'm just babbling about Barrayarran politics from a long time ago." Vorhalas leaned back in the chair and let his arms flop to the side. "I remember talking to Aral Vorkosigan about this. I asked him what taught him more valuable lessons, being his father's aide during Yuri's war, or attending the military academy? He did not hesitate to say it was being at his father's side. I then asked him if he was going to make the young emperor his shadow at the age of twelve. He said he was going to send the young emperor to a school. I urged him to reconsider his choice."

"I might be getting your Barrayarran politics mixed up, but wasn't Vorkosigan your rival?"

"He was a progressive, and I am conservative. He was also _competent_ , and that he what I wanted him to pass on to the emperor. I also had no objection to the emperor being raised by progressives - to be an effective ruler, he had to understand the way the progressive faction thinks, and it was just as well that he learned it directly from them. What was I saying? Oh yes, we kept on talking in circles around it other. It became clear to me that Vorkosigan was sending the young emperor to the academy not because he expected it to prepare him for rule, but because he wanted to shelter him and extend his childhood. Hmphf. I thought it was disgusting. I suppose it turned out alright in the end, though it took longer than necessary for the young emperor to reach maturity. I bet if he had shadowed the regent he would not have fallen for Count Vordrozda's manipulations." Vorhalas sat up. "I'm sorry, I'm still babbling."

"I like your babbling, even though I don't understand all of it. Given your background, going to Oxford must have been a real shock."

"It was. Though moving to Earth after having spent my entire life on Barrayar was a shock in itself, and it's hard to disentangle the two. I did just fine during the first two centuries of my life without any university education, so I have no regrets on that front. However, I had reached a point when I needed to do something completely different to bring some vitality back into my life, and studying at Oxford provided an excellent stimulus."

"I bet you could write a book about that experience."

"I could. And a lot more people would want to read that than my history of Russia." Vorhalas stood up. He circled around the classroom, taking in his surroundings one last time. "Thank you, I do appreciate seeing this school house. I'm ready to move on."


	11. Chapter 11

"Why is this clinic so big?" Vorhalas asked.

"We have to serve the mental health needs of the entire region," Josephine Sherman, vice director of the Rhyolite Mental Health Center, replied.

"But how much mental health care do the townspeople need? Is it an informal insane asylum?"

"No, not at all. We do are best to prevent mental health crises. Nip them in the bud, you could say."

"What sort of mental crises?"

"Oh, many kinds. For example, though the mines have very high safety standards, accidents do happens. Miners then need therapy to process the trauma."

"And?"

"If lovers get into a quarrel, they may need counseling."

Vorhalas was familiar with the concept of marriage counseling, though he had never felt he had any use for it in his personal life. "And?"

"Some people need treatment for clinical depression."

"I still find it hard to believe that so many people in a town like this need so much mental health care. I've spent the past century on Earth, and there isn't nearly this much in the way of per capital mental health care services there."

"Earth desperately needs a lot more mental health care. It's horrific! Some Betan therapists have gone to Earth for volunteer work, and they say not nearly enough is being done."

"I think it would be much better to end the wars."

"True. But even if the wars ended right now, there are already so many victims that they would need to greatly ramp up their mental health care capacities to give everyone the treatment they need."

Vorhalas remained baffled. "There were a number of wars during my youth on Barrayar, yet we got on just fine without mass therapy."

"I don't know much about Barrayarran history, but it is implausible that a large number of people could experience war without needing psychological treatment."

"This is beside the point. There isn't a war going on here, is there?"

"People need mental health care in times of peace too."

Vorhalas snorted. "I have never needed mental health therapy in my life, and I am over three hundred years old."

"You do babble a lot," Walter commented.

"What? There's nothing wrong with that. Or at least it's no sign of mental illness."

"It's not, but it may indicate that you have a need that isn't being met." Walter said. "And you've spent a lot of time on Earth." Josephine nodded.

"Don't tell me that you are going to put me into therapy!"

"Not here. None of us have the cultural competency to be good therapists for you. But you're going back to Silica soon, are you not? I could make referrals."

Vorhalas eyes went wide.

"Even if you don't need therapy, I think that's a good idea," Walter said. "You want to learn about our society, don't you? The services of the Mental Health Board are an integral part of our lives. I think it would help you better understand us."

"When you put it that way... have you been in therapy, Walter?"

"From time to time. I've usually found it helpful."

"And what has therapy done for you?"

"Help steer me in a healthier direction."

"Do you only treat people when there are in a crisis."

"Oh no," Josephine said. "Like I said, we are very much in favor of prevention. We want to support good mental development so that crises will not happen, or at least be less severe."

"Hmmm. It sounds like something from a 26th century Russian novel." Vorhalas did not say aloud that he was thinking specifically of 26th century Russian _dystopia_ novels.

"I don't know anything about Russian literature," Josephine admitted.

"Walter, you do have a point. I do want to understand you Betans better. Very well, I will take referrals. I don't have to do it if I change my mind."

"Excellent," Josephine replied.

***

At the end of the little tour of Rhyolite, Walter had brought Vorhalas to a gallery featuring paintings of the landscapes in the region. Walter then introduced him to the artist, and only after talking to her for about ten minutes did Vorhalas learn that she was also the mayor of Rhyolite. That did not particularly surprise Vorhalas - he knew that village speakers on Barrayar typically had some means of livelihood beyond being a speaker.

Walter and the mayor tried to explain Betan politics to Vorhalas, and it all ended up sounding like nonsense to him. It seemed that the various political parties on Beta Colony all had the same ideology, and that their bitter rivalries were based on theatrics rather than any matter with substance. He supposed that this was why democracy worked on Beta Colony - no matter who the citizens voted for, they would get a similar government. It was also possible, he reckoned, that the industrious mental health system, as well as the system of centralized and standardized compulsory education, ensured that the masses were so like-minded that they were predisposed to herd in the same general direction. 

He could not imagine democracy working within Vorhalas District, let alone on Barrayar as a whole. The population of Vorhalas district was polarized into so many different groups, many of whom bitterly hated each other, that an attempt to form a government 'of the people' would quickly lead to widespread violence. It was the work of a lifetime to figure out how to get all of those groups to continue living with each other in a nondestructive way. Sometimes he had to make and enforce decisions which were unpopular with everyone in order to keep the peace - and if they had been allowed to elect their own Count, they would have voted him out and replaced him with someone who would have created a majority coalition to exploit the unlucky minority. Compared to negotiating with all of the social classes, regions, and ethnic groups in Vorhalas District, dealing with his fellow Counts had been straightforward - and it was precisely because the Council of Counts could agree on basic principles, in a way that his vassals could not, that the Counts could use limited democracy among themselves.

Vorhalas imagined that, if Beta Colony's Mental Health Board ever came to Vorhalas District, they would immediately put at least half of his vassals into intense therapy. While he had to admit that it would greatly simplify governing if his vassals were less like dogs and more like sheep, he did not like the idea of making them all let go of their distinct and often contradictory ways of thinking. Frustrating as they were at times, he generally liked his vassals as they already were. He would miss even the People's Defence League if they were therapeutically cured of their insanity.

As he looked one last time at the mayor's paintings, it occurred to him that the real power on Beta Colony was the planet itself. The environment of their planet dictated a narrow range of choices for Betans if they wished to survive. They had hit the limits of how much they could develop the green flag zone, and they could either try to sustain the green flag zone way of living as long as possible, or move into the yellow flag, orange flag, and even red flag zones. They were a lot more constrained in how to operate their society than Barrayarrans. Such a society needed a great deal of unity and sanity. Perhaps the Mental Health Board was just as vital to their survival as their physical infrastructure.

***

Vorhalas chose to take the public convoy back to Silica. Some of the novelty had worn off, but he also felt he had a better appreciation of the Betan people this time, and the frightening potency of the landscapes around them.

***

When Vorhalas got back to Silica, it was like walking back into a cocoon. He could understand why most Betans preferred to live in the green flag zone. However, he suspected that, even though the effects of the environment were less direct and less obvious in the green flag zone, that it exerted just a great an influence on people's lives here as in the red flag zone.

After his excursion to the more remote settlements of Beta Colony, it was time to pay the university for their hospitality. He knew he had days of rigorous and at times invasive medical examinations ahead of him. Hopefully, the data they would gather would be used to improve people's lives.

He still had an evening to himself. He made a vidcall to his one friend in Silica, Alana.

"I'm back," he said. "If you're available now, I'd like to spend some time with you before your people put me through the gauntlet."

"Yes," Alana said. There was a hesitancy in her voice. "I don't know how to say this."

"Is there something wrong?"

"The day after you left, my mother died."


	12. Chapter 12

"Once again, I am sorry to hear about your mother," Vorhalas said as he came into the courtyard adjacent to Alana's apartment. Alana had reluctantly invited him. He did not feel comfortable refusing her, but he also wondered if it would have been better if he had not made the vidcall at all. "I do not know your culture's death rituals. Is there anything I should do? Or avoid doing?"

"Not really," Alana replied meekly.

Vorhalas had become far too familiar with Russian mourning customs in the past decade. But at least he was able to safely attend most of the funerals of his Russian friends. He never had the chance to attend the funeral of any of his British friends. Instead, he had performed traditional Barrayarran rites for them, alone and far away.

He was fairly certain that he would be allowed to perform Barrayarran rites on Beta Colony given Betan attitudes towards open flames.

"I'm seeing a therapist to deal with this," Alana continued.

It had not occurred to Vorhalas that Beta Colony's mental health system was an integral part of their mourning rites, but it made sense.

"My therapist recommends that maintain my connections with other people. I don't want to talk to you about my mother."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know. You're not going to be on Beta Colony much longer, and we may never see each other again."

"Would you like to hear about my journey to the red flag zone?"

"Sure."

Vorhalas described his excursion. Alana said nothing, but she listened. After he finished, she said "I have never left the green flag zone. I've always assumed that there was nothing in the yellow flag zone and beyond."

"What did you find most interesting?"

Alana was quiet for a moment. "I can't believe they don't use uterine replicators," she finally said.

"I know. That did not seem very Betan to me."

"They probably cannot do gene cleaning either."

"Probably not." Vorhalas hesitated before he continued. "I appreciate some of the benefits of gene cleaning. But..."

"But?"

"If gene cleaning had been available before I was born on Barrayar, I would be long dead now."

"How - oh."

"Indeed."

"No, I don't think so. Nowadays we only screen out genes which are known to be bad. We leave genes with unknown effects alone to restore our genetic diversity."

"And why do you _need_ to 'restore' genetic diversity in the first place?"

"Beta Colony has always had a problem with genetic diversity due to the Founder Effect. However, the first few centuries of genetic cleaning reduced our genetic diversity to dangerously low levels as they pursued their perfection of the gene pool. They thought that the portion of Betans who continued to choose body births were enough to protect genetic diversity, but over the generations they were wrong."

"I was born during those centuries. They would have cleaned out the gene which keeps me alive."

"Yes. I suppose you are right."

"I have always thought that gene cleaning was a good galactic technology for dealing with the clearly nasty mutations. Who would _want_ to give birth to a mutie and - never mind. But when I was involved in Barrayarran politics, I always insisted that gene cleaning be kept extremely minimal. I did not have much success since Emperor Gregor was strongly in favor of aggressive gene cleaning and more willing to impose his will on this matter than most. And I saw the population of Barrayar diverge into two - those who had all the galactic reproductive technology, and devastated their genetic diversity much as the Betans had, and those who had no choice but to reproduce the old way, suffering all of the old problems, and the new problems of outsiders prospecting for their genes."

"Prospecting for genes?"

"Oh yes. You may not be aware of the problem on Beta Colony, but every since the end of the Time of Isolation, galactics have been trying to take advantage of our 'unique' gene pool. One of the reasons the Cetagandans invaded was to exploit us as a genetic study project. Hmpf. One would think that after that all Barrayarrans would be suspicious of genetic technology, and only admit what had the clearest benefits and caused the least harm. But no, the Progressives could not get enough of galactic reproductive technology, and damn the consequences. I did not mind giving everyone permission to copy my gene when it was discovered that it could prevent the brain rot, but I regret doing it publicly. It started yet another wave of prospecting for 'unique' Barrayarran genes which did more harm than good to the Barrayarrans they were examining, and the laws which the Progressive had rammed through did not help." Vorhalas coughed. "Excuse me. This is not an appropriate time for me to discuss this."

"It's okay," Alana said. "This is probably good for me, like my therapist says. I am talking about something other than my mother."

Vorhalas sighed. "I'm also being unfair. It is true that, if my genes had been cleaned, I would be long dead, but it is also true that, without galactic technology, I would also be long dead. But really, you should lead the conversation. What do you want to talk about?"

Alana was silent.

"Are you meeting with other friends."

"You are my friend?"

"Of course I am."

"I don't have many friends."

Vorhalas sensed that this would be a good time to change the subject. "Do you know how to play Stratego?"

"Stratego?"

"It's an ancient Earth game. And an old Barrayarran game. The first wave of settlers on Barrayar brought it with them, so it has been preserved on Barrayar long after everyone except game historians forgot it on Earth. Traditionally one would use a board, but we can also play on our coms."

Vorhalas spent the rest of the evening teaching Alana the game.

***

Back in his guest quarters, Vorhalas did a little research on contemporary Betan mourning customs. He learned that some groups - including the Amish - had very specific funeral customs, but that more than half of Betans did not have formal funerals for their deaths. It seemed that death had become so uncommon on Beta Colony that most Betans did not know how to deal it, so they tried to _avoid_ dealing with it. The government would take care of the dead body, and the people close to the deceased would work with therapists to process their grief.

He was aware that Betan society had a lot of anomie - Maybelle had discussed it at length - but this was a stark illustration of just how much anomie there was.

Did Betans need so much therapy because they were so socially atomized? Or was it because therapy was so widely available that Betans could afford to let themselves become so socially atomized. It seemed like a chicken-and-the-egg kind of question.

Vorhalas wanted to help Alana, but he had to admit that he did not know how to help her beyond respecting her requests.

This was also another demonstration of how important the mental health system was in Betan life. He decided to finally look through the referrals for 'culturally competent' therapists he had received in Rhyolite.

One name leaped out at him - and Vorhalas knew that he definitely needed to meet _this_ therapist.

***

Vorhalas had spent days going through various types of medical testing. At best, there were weird sensations throughout his body to entertain him. Sometimes it was downright boring. And sometimes it was terrifying.

In his free time, he met with Alana again. They mostly played Stratego.

Finally, there was a respite in the medical examinations. He had two full days before some final checkups and the meetings in which the university researchers would explain to him anything they discovered which concerned his personal health.

Vorhalas had spent his first free day relaxing and wandering around Silica. On his second free day, he had an appointment with the therapist.

When Vorhalas first saw the therapist, he was a little disappointed that his physical features did not look familiar. But what did he expect? He had never met this therapist before.

He did notice that the therapist was not wearing the typical sarong. Instead, he wore clothes which were not quite Barrayarran, but their cut suggested the civvies a 20 year man might wear. Was this part of what made him 'culturally competent'?

The therapist introduced himself. "I am honored to meet you, Count Vorhalas. I am Dr. Roger Robert Naismith."


	13. Chapter 13

"Are you related to..." Vorhalas began to ask.

"I am the son of Travis Timothy Naismith, son of Brendan Bryce Naismith, son of Lanyon Lewis Naismith, son of Miles Mark Naismith and Elizabeth Naismith."

"Thank you. Is this how you usually introduce yourself to clients?"

"No, not even when they ask me about my relationship to certain famous people. But since you are Vor, I thought you might be interested in the full genealogy."

"Thank you, I appreciate it. Did you ever meet Countess Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan?"

"She died before I was born. But I lived in Vorkosigan House for five years, so I know Count Vorkosigan and his immediate family very well."

"Oh, so you've lived on Barrayar. What did you do there?"

"I was a student at Vorbarr Sultana University?"

"What did you study?"

"Barrayarran studies."

"How did that happen?"

"Let's just say that, while I was growing up, I kept on hearing tales about certain members of my family, particularly Admiral Naismith, and one thing led to another."

"Do you only do therapy for Barrayarrans?"

"Not at all, most of my clients are Betan. I do have some regular Barrayarran clients who come to see me whenever they are on Beta Colony. Oh, I also met Nile Kosigan when I was on Barrayar."

"I also know Nile Kosigan. She was living in England at the same time I was."

"Isn't she such a delightful person?"

"She is delightful."

"I do remember her talking about her mother Cordelia a little bit. She said that her mother had deliberately tried to shield her and her sisters from Barrayarran influence as much as possible. She was quite nonplussed that one of her daughters turned out to feel such an affinity for Barrayarran culture. I always intended to visit Sergyar too, and meet more relatives from that branch of the family, but when I was a student I never had time, and when I finally had time, there was the revolution."

Vorhalas sighed. "The Sergyarran Revolution broke Nile's heart. She loves Barrayar, but her sister Milla Kosigan died in the Gridgrad Massacre. There were people she cared for deeply on both sides, and she could not bear to watch them fight each other. That is why she fled to Earth."

"I am sorry to hear that. I had heard about some of her projects on Earth, but I did not realize she was on Earth because of the Sergyarran Revolution. I wish she would have come to us."

"She needs her work, and I imagine it was much easier for her to obtain architecture commissions on Earth than on Beta Colony."

"I suppose. I still wish I could have helped her."

"I am glad that she left Earth seventy years ago. The way Earth is now would break her heart again."

"Has Earth broken your heart?"

Vorhalas was quiet for a long time. "No. Earth has not broken my heart."

"What has it been like, living on Earth for the past few years?"

"I was safe, and the city where I lived, Chelyabinsk, was also safe. I think the region may not see any battles during this entire cycle of war. I hope so."

"Did you want to stay?"

"Of course I did. When I went to Earth, I intended to stay there for the rest of my life."

Roger raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Barrayar has changed into a planet I no longer recognize. I wanted to leave while I could still remember Barrayar as it was, so that the Barrayar in my blood would not be replaced by the Barrayar before my eyes. So I went to Earth, ready to stay there a thousand years if that was how long my body was going to keep its hold on life."

"So what changed?"

"Ten years ago, Russia was not involved in the wars at all. I thought that, even if the rest of Europe was going to hell in a hand basket, even if my friends in England, France, and Greece were dying, Russia would keep itself out of the insanity. I was a fool. Any war, no matter how ridiculous, which manages to engulf Northern, Central, Southern, and Western Europe, as well as Songhai and South America, was not going to leave Eastern Europe unscathed. The Swedish idiots attacked Russia - I have no idea what they thought they could gain - and before I knew it, Russia was tangled up in the war too. In the past few years, more and more resouces have be leaving Chelyabinsk to support the war effort. Recently, refugees have started to come in.

"There was no question of me leaving while I was still working on my book. I was willing to take risks to finish my work. But when my book was complete, I found myself having to make a choice. I almost decided to stay. But I could read the writing on the wall. I knew that, unless the war was going to end very quickly, Chelyabinsk was not going to continue to be able to support the medical facilities I need to stay alive. I knew that choosing to stay would be choosing to die. I can only die once. If I ever choose death, it will be for something that matters. And clinging to my memories of Barrayar is not worth my death."

"I see. You said that your friends on Earth are dying."

"Yes."

"How does that feel?"

"It feels wonderful!" Vorhalas retorted sarcastically. "How do you think it feels?"

"Would you like to talk more about that?"

"No."

"Very well. What do you want to get from our session today?"

Vorhalas needed a moment to calm down. "I am curious about Betan therapy. And your name stood out."

Roger smiled. "I bet it did. Is there a particular topic you would like to work on?"

"No. I want to see what you are going to do."

"My training tells me that your feelings and relationships with your friends on Earth is something to work on - and that, if you refuse to discuss it, that I should refrain from further probing."

"I assure you, I know how to function regardless of my grief. I have had more practice than you can imagine."

"Would you like to discuss your future? Are you going to stay on Beta Colony?"

"No."

"Where are you going next?"

"Escobar, to visit the Durona Clinic."

"Then?"

"Sergyar. To visit Nile Kosigan, in fact. I have not seen her since she left Earth."

"I've never thought about it, but it might be good for me to visit her too. And meet more of the Kosigan family."

"Then, I will then go to Komarr to visit my descendants."

"They are not on Barrayar?"

"No, they are not. And yes, even though I was the most staunch opponent of Komarran integration during my political career, all of my living descendants now live on Komarr and have Komarran blood in their veins. Meanwhile, even though Aral Vorkosigan was the greatest champion of Komarran integration, the Vorkosigans are now one of the last high Vor families who have not intermarried with the Komarran oligarchy. The irony is not lost on me."

"Will you stay on Komarr to be with your descendants?"

"Of course not! I am going to Barrayar."

"So you want to return to Barrayar?"

"I _must_ return."

"What do you expect when you return to Barrayar?"

"I don't know - and I don't want to know. It's bad enough that I will know when I get there, I'm not going to ruin the little time I have left before I get there by finding out in advance."

"You do not expect what you will find on Barrayar to be good."

"No, I do not."

"What do you know about how Barrayar has changed since you left."

"As little as possible. I could not avoid knowing about major events such as the Sergyarran Revolution. But I have tried to preserve my ignorance."

"And you want to stay ignorant for as long as possible."

"Yes."

"Why _are_ you returning to Barrayar?"

"It's the planet of my ancestors."

"But you - oh, I suppose Earth is also the planet of your ancestors. However, you do not seem to like the idea of returning to Barrayar at all. Do you really have to go there?"

Vorhalas opened his mouth, and then closed it, and then opened it one more time, all without uttering a single word.

"Would you prefer to talk about your time here on Beta Colony?"

Vorhalas looked relieved. "Yes."

"Have you been to the Orb yet?"

"Absolutely not."

"It's the most popular attraction with Barrayarran tourists."

"I accept that you Betans have your own ways, but I do not want to expose my private parts to them."

Roger chuckled. "I know you were in Rhyolite. Not many foreigners go to the Yellow Flag zone."

"I went to the red flag zone."

Roger's eyebrows shot straight up. "I want to hear about this."

The rest of the session consisted of Vorhalas' account of the First Pioneers. Roger seemed to know little about them, and showed great interest.

At the end, Vorhalas agreed to meet Roger one more time before leaving Beta Colony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I borrowed the name of Cordelia's brother from [this fanfic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3314999).


	14. Chapter 14

As Vorhalas expected, the information the researchers had gathered on his body and health was complicated. He did not seem to have any urgent health problems which needed immediate treatment. However, as usual, since it was unprecedented for anyone to live as long as he had, there was a lot of uncertainty. The doctors at the universities had many concerns. Vorhalas tried his best to understand their layperson level explanations, but he ended up needing to talk to Alana about it privately to make sense of it all.

It was good that he was going to get a second opinion at the Durona Clinic, though more opinions would probably obscure rather than clarify his understanding of how his body was doing these days.

Even after centuries of dealing with these kinds of issues, it never seemed to get easier. But it was a modest price to pay for an indefinitely long life.

Dealing with medical issues actually turned out to be a welcome distraction. Vorhalas had spent so much time trying to get a better understanding of Betan Society because, as soon as he had arrived and seen just how little Beta Colony had changed in the past century, he had had a suspicion. His suspicion had not just been confirmed, it was a starker insight than he had anticipated. 

He would have liked to go into denial, to ignore what he had realized on Beta Colony. But he was Vor, and he would not let himself do that just because he was scared of the truth. If necessary, he could just work it out privately, without ever telling another soul. Yet talking about it with someone else might be easier. 

It was convenient that he had an appointment with a therapist.

***

"I know what I want to talk to you about," Vorhalas said. "I want to talk to you about the rate of change."

"Very well," Roger said. "What do you want to say?"

"I'm a conservative. I've been a conservative all my life."

"Yes?"

"Conservatives are not necessarily opposed to change - but we want to be _careful_ with change. And it is easier to be _careful_ when one is _slow_. Therefore, we often aimed to slow the rate of change."

"I understand that logic."

"During my political career, I never thought of Beta Colony as a enemy. I have never had a problem with Betans doing your Betan things on your own world. But I did consider Betan influence on Barrayar to be a threat."

"You were scared that we might change your society in ways beyond your control."

"I was. I was scared that all of the galactics - not just Beta Colony - was causing the rate of change on Barrayar to go up so quickly that we would lose the society for which our forefathers had made so many sacrifices to create, without even being able to guide the direction of the changes. And I was wrong."

"You were wrong that your society was not lost?"

"Oh, I was not wrong about that. The society of my forefathers is long gone. My mistake was thinking that the _galactics_ were causing Barrayar to change so fast."

Roger looked puzzled. "I think you might have been right about that. Surely Barrayar would not have changed so dramatically if the wormhole route to Komarr had not been discovered."

"I thought so too - before I studied history at Oxford."

"What do you think now?"

"Dorca Vorbarra consolidated his power _during_ the time of isolation. He was causing an upheaval of Barrayarran society before that wormhole route was discovered. Though you Betans influenced _how_ his son Prince Xav revolutionized Barrayar, I am not convinced that Prince Xav would have changed Barrayar no less had the isolation been maintained."

"And the First Cetagandan War?"

"It changed Barrayar in many ways - and also prevented many changes which otherwise would have happened, such as Emperor Dorca and Prince Xav's most radical reforms. The Cetagandans are responsible for too many vile crimes for me to name, but I no longer think they _increased_ the rate of change on Barrayar."

"But I would think that, even if Barrayar had changed just as rapidly, without the Cetagandan invasion, Barrayarrans would have still had more control over the changes."

"Perhaps, but these days I question even _that_. We did, after all, drive off the Cetagandans. We did recover our sovereignty."

"Did your experiences on Earth have anything to do with your new understanding of the rate on change on Barrayar?"

"My experiences on Earth had everything to do with changing my mind. I spent decades pouring over the histories of long dead civilizations. And I found patterns, and I found that the Barrayar where I grew up fits exactly the pattern of a civilization in decline, doomed to fall and perish."

"Really?"

"A very common pattern for civilizations is to have a few centuries of general warfare, such as the Warring States period at the end of the Zhou dynasty in China, or the 'Sengoku' period in Japan. Barrayar had its time of general warfare during the last century and a half of the Time of Isolation. These periods of general warfare tend to the end with the establishment of a universal state, often led by an emperor, which establishes political unity in the civilization. Rome, for example, established a universal state in the Ancient Mediterranean civilization. Even if there had been a nominal emperor before the time of general warfare, political power will be far more concentrated than it had been before. I think you know when this happened on Barrayar."

"Emperor Dorca," Roger said.

"Exactly. Universal states usually boast that they are the most powerful, the strongest, that they will last for eternity, and other such vain nonsense. I am embarrassed to say that Barrayar was no exception - my father talked to me at length about the glories of Dorca Vorbarra and how Barrayarran culture was going to rise to heights it had never seen before. However, in context, the age of the universal state is the equivalent of a civilization going into retirement and have a quiet life until it is overtaken by a fatal illness. The Qin and Han dynasties never matched the cultural achievements of the age of Confucius, and Rome never matched the cultural achievements of the Greeks from centuries earlier. And nothing I have seen of Barrayar from my lifetime has matched the cultural achievements from before the time of general warfare. It is easy to blame galactic influence - I blamed galactic influence for centuries - but I now believe that Barrayar's cultural decline has roots too deep for any outsider to affect."

"This is an entirely new perspective to me. What are the implications of that for your philosophy?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure that I want to know. But I now know that there are alternatives, that this is not the fate of all civilizations."

"Oh?"

"During the first hundred years of your life, how did Beta Colony change?"

"There had been a number of changes in the presidency and legislature."

"What changes?"

"Sometimes new presidents were elected into office, and a different party won a majority in the legislature."

"Were there any changes in the constitution?"

"A few minor amendments?"

"Any other changes."

"The Betan Survey shut down. It became harder than ever to get a child permit. There were more and more old people and fewer and fewer young people. There have been big changes in the kinds of vid dramas we have produced."

"Are those the biggest changes you can think of?"

"We also have some new technology, such as the fields which allow people to write in the air to take notes."

"Have there been any technological changes which have been as dramatic as, for example, artificial gravity."

Roger paused for a moment to think. "No. I suppose we are also in a state of decline."

"Perhaps - but I am not sure," Vorhalas said. "I am sure that, if Betan society is in decline, it's found a different way to decline. I bet that if you lined up any century of Barrayarran history - during the time of isolation, after the time of isolation, any century at all - and compared it to any century of Betan history, you would find that Barrayar had experienced far more dramatic changes in that century than Beta Colony."

"Beta Colony has had far more extensive terraforming than Barrayar."

"You used fancier technology and did more to change the climate. But Beta Colony has done nearly as much terraforming at the soil level as Barrayar, and based on what I know of your history, your modifications of your environment have not led to the same social upheavals as it had on Barrayar. You had to slowly expand outward, whereas on Barrayar we've had an entire continent suddenly become available for settlement."

"Well, I am hardly an expert on our own history, let alone Barrayar's history."

"The First Pioneers criticized your government for only thinking _a thousand years_ into the future. They think your government needs to think about the next _hundred thousand years_. I am astounded that it is possible for a government to be able to think about the next _century_ , let alone the next millennium. I think that, at best, Barrayar might have at one point had a government which could think fifty years into the future, and I am not certain of even that."

"Were you not a part of the Barrayarran government at one time?"

"I was. And even though I was a conservative, I rarely thought about the implications of anything beyond the following twenty years. It's embarrassing."

"What about governments on Earth?"

"If they could think about even ten years into the future, Earth would be a much more peaceful planet right now."

"So you admire us because we plan for the far future?"

"I do. If your society is in decline, your are declining gracefully. You have taken great pains to ensure that the benefits of your civilization can be enjoyed for centuries, and if you ever fail to maintain the green flag zone standard of living, the First Pioneers are already developing alternatives so that your civilization may persist. For so long, I thought of Beta Colony as a threat to the conservative cause. Yet Beta Colony is the most profoundly conservative society I have ever experienced. You have slowed the rate of change to the point where you can be very careful."

"I admit, I do not recall ever having a conversation like this with any of my clients before. Thank you. I am wondering what all of this means for you personally."

"I now see that I have been deeply wrong in some of my views of how the universe works. It makes me doubt myself. What else do I misunderstand? I may never again be able to act with the conviction I did in my youth."

"Maybe you can find a way to apply what you think is good about Betan society to your own society."

"No. I don't think I can."

"Perhaps it is good for your mental health that you are not trying to change an entire world. What about more personal goals? What are you thinking about your prospects for the future?"

"I am going to live until I die. Beyond that, I do not know. My plan for living on Earth did not work as I intended. I feel that any other long-term plan I make will end up being just as futile."

"You do have a plan for everything you are going to do until you reach Barrayar."

"I do."

"As a therapist, I think you will benefit from a lot of time of quiet contemplation. I would advise that you not rush back to Barrayar. Take your time on the planets you visit. And keep your options open. If you ever return to Beta Colony, I will be happy to see you again."

"Thank you," Vorhalas said.

***

Vorhalas looked wistfully at the viewscreen which showed Beta Colony shrinking into the distance. Considering the short time he had spent there, it had been an incredibly meaningful visit.

The visit was also over. He was now en route to Escobar.

He was going to do his business with the Durona clinic. He was not going to make any attempt to understand Escobaran society. It would be too much too soon.

It was clear that he feared returning to Barrayar. He was also Vor. He would not flinch because of his fear. The fact that he was scared made it even more important that he return to Barrayar. He would not let his fear control him.

Nonetheless, a relaxing vacation at a nice resort on Escobar would be a very pleasant delay.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've made it here to the end, I thank you for sticking with this odd fanfic!


End file.
